Official Emergency Preparedness Guide
“Because Wally Probably Got It Wrong Again.”
☀️ If Wally Predicts Sunshine
Prepare for:
- hail
- tornadoes
- sideways rain
- flying lawn furniture
Recommended gear:
- raincoat
- flashlight
- emotional support snacks
🌧️ If Wally Predicts Heavy Rain
Expect:
- partly cloudy skies
- perfect grilling weather
- neighbors washing cars
Reminder:
Never cancel a barbecue based on Wally alone.
🌪️ If Wally Says “No Need To Panic.”
Panic a little.
❄️ If Wally Predicts Snow in Florida
This means:
- one confused cloud
- 47 school closures
- Every grocery store is out of bread
⚡ Emergency Alert Levels
| Wally Warning Level | What It Actually Means |
|---|---|
| “Slight Chance” | Major storm incoming |
| “Beautiful Weekend” | Category 3 hurricane |
| “Nothing to worry about” | Board up windows |
| “Radar looks clear.” | Storm is angry now |
| “Radar looks clear” | Radar unplugged |
📡 Doppler 19 Accuracy System
- Green = probably wrong
- Yellow = definitely wrong
- Red = seek shelter immediately
- Static screen = Wally kicked the extension cord again
🧰 Essential Supplies
Every household should keep:
- batteries
- bottled water
- duct tape
- weather radio
- Backup weather app not operated by Wally
📞 24/7 Emergency Hotline
(850) 555-WRONG
“Wrong Around the Clock. Prepared Around the Clock.”
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